You’ve probably heard of the Golden Rule, right? Treat others the way you want to be treated.
But let’s take this a step further. Let’s explore the Platinum Rule.
Because every individual is different, with a different set of personality traits, thinking style, ways of interacting with others, values, beliefs, etc., there’s no one right way to treat a person.
What one person, for example, may see as being HONEST and DIRECT, another may experience as ABRASIVE and DISRESPECTFUL.
So, how can we be emotionally intelligent leaders who care for our people?
It starts with asking the question, “How do THEY want to be treated?” The answer to that question may actually be different from how YOU want to be treated.
I had a client once, a leader in an organization, who was giving feedback to one of her team members, and the team member started crying. The leader was being open, honest, not using foul or harsh language—but was very unemotional, straightforward and direct.
It was just the way my client would have wanted to receive feedback herself, so she couldn’t understand why her employee was crying.
Her dilemma was resolved when she recognized the need to explore how best to share feedback with that particular employee in the future – and it included an expression of empathy.
Another example can be in the way people prefer to work with others.
Some people prefer to be given a project that has a big, clear vision with little to no details on how to get there – then be left alone to bring it to life, without micromanaging or excessive check-ins.
Another person may prefer to be given bite-size chunks of a project with regular communication, support, and follow-up to be sure they are on track.
Every person is different, and it’s important to meet them where they are.
This is a kind of “Platinum Rule.”
As a leader, we often think of treating people how WE want to be treated, and this is a great start.
The next step to really accelerate your ability to lead well is to TREAT OTHERS HOW THEY WANT TO BE TREATED. And it’s also a great transition to using the mindset and skillset of coaching.