Get curious, not furious

by | Jan 24, 2024

3 things to do when you feel triggered:

We all have those moments. Something happens. Someone says or does something. And BOOM. You’re triggered. 🤯

➡️ Maybe it comes from a values conflict.

➡️ Maybe it’s a reminder of something painful in our past.

➡️ Maybe it’s an unhelpful story or belief we’ve adopted.

Whatever it is, nobody likes to feel triggered.

⚠️ The sad thing is…many people are limited in how far they can grow as a leader and in their career because they don’t have the tools to manage their triggers.

So, here are 3 things you can do the next time you feel triggered:


✔️ Give yourself a moment.

✔️ Find a quiet space.

✔️ Be willing to take a step back, walk away temporarily.

✔️ Employ some grounding techniques—deep breathing, counting, or imagining a mental caution light or stop sign.


✔️ Name the emotions you’re feeling.

✔️ Remind yourself that it’s ok to think/feel what you’re thinking/feeling.

✔️ Ask what led you to think/feel that way?

✔️ Examine your values, sensitivities or mental stories from events in your past, external stressors/pressures, your physical state, or beliefs you are holding on to.


✔️ In light of this knowledge, what do you need?

✔️ What is your standard for yourself and for the situation? What do you need in order to honor that standard?

✔️ What would the best version of yourself do?

✔️ Finally, ask — what kind of response will I be proud of later?

Once you’ve taken the time to be curious and unpack these things for yourself, consider the situation from the other person’s perspective…and curiously examine it as if you’re looking from their lens.

We all have triggers.

But the people who are the happiest, most in-tune with themselves, and most effective in achieving their goals…are people who GET CURIOUS, NOT FURIOUS.

And you can too!

💡 Sign up for my free monthly newsletter here.

Opt-In To Watch The FREE Webinar

Opt-In To Watch The FREE Webinar

The Key To Increasing Employee Engagement

You have Successfully Subscribed!