Apologizing as a leader is NOT a weakness. Here’s why…
We’ve all had “A MOMENT,” right? Where we’ve had enough…where we’ve reached the very end of our patience…when the volume of our voices starts to rise, until…
Maybe it’s just me, but I doubt it 😉
The reality is we all face pressures and challenges. Sometimes those pressures and challenges seem so big that our weaknesses show up in a big way too.
And we become a less-than-ideal version of ourselves.
First off, we’re imperfect humans, and this happens. But what’s important is WHAT WE DO FROM HERE.
As leaders, we affect those we lead – whether good or bad.
***Great leaders don’t have to be perfect. But great leaders have strategies for dealing with their imperfections. And it often includes APOLOGIZING.***
May seem simple, right?
→ → → But here’s the thing. Simple doesn’t mean easy. In fact, most leaders I’ve worked with struggle with this. A few concerns I’ve heard over the years include:
* If I apologize to my team, I’ll lose their respect.
* If I apologize to my team, they’ll think what they did was ok, and it’s not.
* If I apologize to my team, my boss will think I don’t have what it takes to manage well.
* If I apologize to my team, they’ll take advantage of me in the future.
All of these concerns are understandable.
The first step is to get clear on what an effective apology looks like—one that doesn’t undermine your authority OR excuse another person’s behavior.
Here are 3 characteristics of an effective apology from a leader to his/her team:
1) WHAT HAPPENED. It’s important to share the context of the situation. Be as clear as possible about what situation or event, which will minimize the likelihood of misunderstanding the apology.
2) WHAT YOU DID. While it’s probably true that your actions weren’t the sole cause of what happened, an apology that blames others at all is not a true, accountable apology. No matter how you frame it, it will sound like an excuse. Be honest and clear about what you did that you regret and express why.
3) WHAT WILL CHANGE. Actions are the substance of words. If nothing changes, then the apology was just a temporary band-aid with distrust remaining under the surface. Make sure you are clear about what will be different moving forward, and then make a plan to follow through.
Effective leaders know they don’t have to always be right to prove their value or their authority.
Effective leaders know that the humility to recognize and own when they’re wrong leads to growth.
And effective leaders take every opportunity to grow because, to them, great leadership means actually doing the good and right thing – even when it’s hard.
We cover topics like these and much more in The Coach Approach to Leadership™.
If you want to transform your leadership effectiveness and the culture of your leadership team, let’s talk!
Contact me to set up a discovery call.