What do you do when you get ‘triggered’ at work? Here’s how to manage your emotional triggers…
It happens to all of us…
Someone SAYS something. DOES something. Or DOESN’T DO what they committed to. You READ the email. Or the POST. And there you go…BOOM!…you’re triggered.
And if you’ve been triggered a few times already, you might even explode.
But at what cost…To you? To your health? Your team? Your peers? Your family?
The short-term satisfaction of releasing the frustration rarely offsets the residual damage. NO ONE WANTS TO WORK FOR A VOLCANO…even one that erupts only occasionally.
And since more is caught than taught, you don’t want to set your team up to think it’s ok to replicate eruptions.
To protect yourself and your team from fallout, it’s important to manage your triggers.
So here’s the thing, if we PAY ATTENTION to triggers and ADDRESS THEM THOUGHTFULLY, these triggers can actually work FOR us and NOT AGAINST us.
Why? Because conflict (including “internal conflict,” a.k.a. triggers) managed well produces growth, which leads to a greater capacity to achieve personal and professional success.
Here are 4 steps to manage triggers when they occur:
- IDENTIFY. Begin to pay attention to when you feel triggered. Observe when it occurs. Self-awareness is the first step to growth. No need to judge yourself for it – just be aware.
- CONSIDER. Ponder where the trigger is coming from. What disturbs you most about the situation or experience? Is it a values conflict? Does it violate a belief you hold? Are you feeling, or is your reputation/character being, threatened or unsafe?
- QUESTION. As best you can, separate the data/facts of the situation from the emotion of it. Then ask yourself what about the data around the event is important, risky, or painful? Regarding the emotions—what are you experiencing and why do you think these emotions are coming up?
- DECIDE. After uncovering this perspective, determine where you might be making interpretations or assumptions. Then choose how you will respond. Maybe it’s setting a new boundary. Maybe it’s asking more questions to get further information. Maybe it’s holding someone accountable. Maybe it’s letting go of something – maybe an unrealistic expectation.
How you proceed from here with your new clarity and understanding is totally up to you. The power is in your hands!
Identifying and managing triggers is definitely the deeper work of growing ‘WHO’ we are as a leader.
It is such an important and necessary commitment if we want to be leaders who walk in integrity and truly lead by example.